They say it goes by quick. But when you’re in the middle of it all, each day can be mired in emotions, adverse situations and may sometimes feel like a never-ending cycle of situations and circumstances.
I remember someone telling me years ago that you’ll know when it’s over. That you won’t have any desire to go to the ballpark or to the gym, for a workout in the off-season. I thought he was crazy, but that’s exactly what happened. I lost the joy in playing the game I loved. The level of commitment was no longer there. I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. And just like that, it was over.
As I travel the world speaking to and working with players and their coaches, I am constantly reminded of the pressures the young player performs under today. Whether it be the pressure from their parents, coaches or even the pressures they place on themselves, it’s an unhealthy environment to work in.
Where Did The Fun Go?
My daily work as a private hitting coach to Major League and Minor League players constantly requires me to reflect on my playing days. One of my goals is to make sure that I connect with the player in a genuine manner. I never want to forget what it was like to play the game, especially at the professional level. I make a conscious effort to remind myself just how hard the game is to play, let alone try and hit Major League pitching. When I do this, I can relate to the player in a way that shows him that I remember how tough the game is. I can show compassion, while at the same time helping them figure it out on their own.
Throughout a player’s career, I will pick my spots to remind them to be grateful for the opportunity they have. I want to make sure they stop and look around to appreciate all of the good things in their lives. Because at that level, it’s so competitive and cut throat that it seems like all we do as players is focus on the negatives and the shortcomings. It’s easy for a player to get trapped in his “bubble” (the grind of a full season), and have no knowledge or understanding of what’s going on in the outside world. I recently shared a good example of how a player worked to gain perspective in his career which you can read about here.
Learning To Stop and “drink it in”
First, our baseball careers never last as long as we would want them to. It’s similar to death. We know we can’t live forever, but we consciously put the thought of dying in the far recesses of our brain so it doesn’t trigger the anxieties which can arise from a truth of that magnitude.
Second, in order to have a long-lasting and productive career, it requires us to reach inside and care for the internal self (the person) first before we can start relishing in the external rewards on the field.
And you don’t get to this place without being mindful and taking a moment to be grateful for where you are at, no matter how good or bad you’re doing on the field. Sometimes we think that we can only be grateful when things go well. Or more commonplace, we don’t give ourselves permission to be grateful when things are going bad. A popular thought amongst us is, “What can I be grateful for if nothing is going right for me?”
I’ve had many years to reflect back on my playing days and the older I got, the clearer it became that I failed. At first, it was disheartening. It was a tough pill to swallow. I left the game bitter. I was on an emotional rollercoaster because I hadn’t had any closure. Over time, it hit me like a 98 mph fastball to the helmet what I had been missing, what I didn’t do and what I should have done better – I didn’t let go and enjoy the ride.
It was the best advice I had received in my career, but I was so busy plowing forward and trying harder, that I failed to understand and put to use this powerful piece of advice.
It’s easy to gloss over advice on your way to the top. When you’re young you think you have it all figured out. You feel you know what you want. You know what you need. And everyone else is just trying to put their fingerprints on you as you ascend the ladder of success. While part of it is surely true, a larger and more important piece to the puzzle is knowing when to listen to people who are in your “circle of trust.”
My father gave me this piece of advice. He told me to let go and have fun. He told me to enjoy the ride. But what did my father know about baseball? He never played past high school. He didn’t know what it was like to play in front of scouts. He didn’t know what it was like to play professional baseball, but it turns out he knew a heck of a lot more than I did. What he had that trumped me and everyone else going through the ranks, was life experience. You simply can’t teach that.
They say you can’t teach wisdom. It’s something that only comes from experience. And as I reflected back on my playing days I saw that I had plenty of knowledge. I had knowledge about the game, myself and the techniques. But what I lacked, was the wisdom which would have allowed me to stop for a moment to listen to that advice, absorb it, reflect on it, understand it and start to implement it. Instead, I was charging hard through my career like a runaway train, only changing directions when I hit an obstacle or someone was blocking my path.
Advice comes in all shapes and sounds. Sometimes it’s recklessly thrown at us or ill-timed. But it constantly surrounds us. When we are younger, we tend to default to deflection mode, much like I did. I knew my father was right. I knew that it was crazy to go through my career and my life by only being happy and enjoying it when I was going good. That was easy. What was tougher and more essential to my growth not only as a ballplayer but more importantly as a young man, was to heed his advice and do as the military does, embrace the suck – to let go and enjoy the ride regardless of my circumstances.
I figured it out too late to implement it during my playing career. But I’m not mad anymore. I have found my WHY and I use the advice to help many others enjoy their playing careers more than I did. People ask me all the time if I would do anything different when I played. I quickly tell them yes – I would have been more grateful for the opportunity I had, and I would have had more fun.
Because after all, it’s just a game right? I couldn’t give myself permission to have fun so maybe I can help you give yourself permission to enjoy your journey through the game of baseball and life.
Love,
KW
For more than a decade, Kevin Wilson has been one of the most respected hitting coaches in the game. He works behind the scenes as a private hitting consultant to some of the best hitters in Major League Baseball. In 2013, Kevin was the hitting coach for the USA Baseball 18U National Team. Team USA beat Japan for the Gold medal at the IBAF World Cup in Taichung, Taiwan.
He is the author of the Amazon #1 Best Seller The #GoodBatting Book and co-hosts a popular podcast, KWB Radio, that showcases unique conversations with the pros. If you want Kevin to speak at your next event or if you want take advantage of his popular 2-day KWB Experience for players and coaches, contact Kevin today!
Follow Kevin on twitter @KWBaseball and visit his website KWBaseball.com